And so the journey begins again.
The good part of the hallucinations is that it made me have no choice but to stop stilnox. Now I'm on seraquel and some anti histamine . But on top of the usual Lamcital, I am also on a new anti depressant.
I wonder how much longer my list of tried and tested medicine I will have to go through.
I know I have to be patient. It's only been such a short time. But damn it, i want my life back .
Today, I felt like vomiting all through dinner. And it was bad. like real bad. could hardly have some salad.
and now, m in bed with anxiety. a feeling so lost yet familiar. I am unsure of its because the Godma called. Or because of whatever else.
I feel like my mind is a minefield . Any moment now and I'm going to fly into mania. or sink into depression.
sometimes it feels like my mind has betrayed the body. How can you do this me me. How can it be that the monster thats killing me is myself. People who have cancer know that cancer is going to kill them. Or people with heart diseases know that thats how death will claim them.
And me? I'm the one thats going to be the death of myself.
The letter has been sent to HR.
Hopefully i get to have a new life.
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